I met my new neighbors this morning, I also met their two dogs. I spoke to the people but I was thinking about the dogs the whole time.
Understand this if you meet me and you have a dog: The whole time we are talking I’m imagining being best friends with your dog.
No matter what words may be coming out of my mouth, I’m lost in a wild adventure where your dog and I save the world and get home in time for dinner.
When I first met my wife I knew that she had a dog. When I met her dog I didn’t have to hide the fact that I wanted that dog to be my best friend.
Somewhere in the archives of this blog is my wedding video. I got married in Vegas so if you find it the whole thing last 7 minutes. I look like a fat goofball marrying a really beautiful woman but that’s not why I mention my wedding video.
One of the most common search terms that brings people to this blog is the phrase “wedding night video.” 100% of these searches are creeps looking for sex tapes and to those people I say: Knock it off and stop being creeps.
I can’t speak for every married couple but after my wedding, sex was the last thing on my mind. Weddings are stressful and we drank a lot. All we wanted to do afterward was rest. So, for people looking for a video of my wife and I on our wedding night, it’s 7 hours of us sleeping. Enjoy.
The birthday card I bought for my wife in 2010 sat on my desk as I tried to think of a way to express how happy I was to be with her. After hours of thinking it over the card was still blank so I grabbed a pen and tried to explain that the words I had to describe my feelings felt inadequate somehow. The problem was, those were the words I used. I actually wrote:
I feel so inadequate
I stopped, because that’s a terrible thing to write in a birthday card even if I was trying to make a point about my words failing me (which they really did in this case). I tried to cross out the last word but there was no mistaking what I had written, it simply now looked like this:
I feel so